ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES

Holes In What’s Left Of My Reason

FuckDenverI saw that Julius Thomas tweeted that Carmelo Anthony probably won’t bring a title to New York.  That may be true, but as a Knick fan I don’t need him telling me that.  Who am I kidding, it’s the fact that I am a Chargers fan that got me so irate.  You can see above what my response was.  I know, FAITHFUL READER, I thought I handled it well also.  The last time I posted was last month right before the Brandon Flowers signing.  What impressed me the most about that was everyone (including me) thought that the Chargers would end up not getting him not because of our salary cap limitations, but because they are the Chargers.  Honestly, I don’t know if Flowers is that good.  But he’s sure as hell better than any cornerback we’ve got currently.  To me, it was more what Brandon Flowers represented–an elite free agent target.  AJ Smith was great at first at adding complementary pieces like Donnie Edwards, but eventually seemed to be opposed to signing anybody that the  “experts” were talking about.  When the team got less and less talented, he gave in and signed guys like Robert Meachem, Jarret Johnson, Jared Gaither, Atari Bigby, Eddie Royal, and Le’Ron McClain.  Of course, that was the end of AJ.  Johnson and Royal continue to make big plays and Smith’s final few draft may still produce more Pro Bowlers.  But it was AJ’s attitude (or perceived attitude) that turned off so many fans once his moved stopped producing results.

But Telesco didn’t cave (or appear to) to fan pressure or Flowers’ agents.  Were there really 10 teams interested in him?  I don’t know and the Pat Kirwin article I linked hints at some of the reasons that teams might have shied away from Flowers.  If you read the comments, you can also see all sorts of fan perspectives on him.  Did he get burned some?  All corners do, even though I am the first to complain when it happens.  But after Flowers went down in KC’s playoff game, you could really see the difference.  It goes without saying that we could use an impact guy in the defensive backfield.  Flowers was on Sirius this week talking about Rivers.  If you click on the link, you can stop listening once the conversation gets to Alex Smith and Peyton Manning.

I know not everyone shares my musical tastes, but for those that do, I’ve posted the longest-ever version of “Let It Grow.”  The link is for streaming the show, but I can get you a copy of the whole thing if you want.  It’s a great show, even if it’s got that trademark 1978 raggedy quality.  Jerry is basically screaming instead of singing.  After I harassed Julius Thomas on Twitter, I decided to  find another target.  Dennis Miller was once an amazing stand up comedian.  I’m serious.  If you have never seen his first special, Mr. Miller Goes To Washington, you need to immediately.  There was an album released from it, The Off-White Album.  He really went full-throttle with the Beatles parody as you can see below.  I’ve posted both sides of the album for your enjoyment.

Dennis Miller - Off-White Album x

I sent Miller a Tweet telling him that his turn to conservatism after 9/11 would be like if Springsteen decided after Darkness On The Edge Of Town that he was taking up Christian rock exclusively.  I saw Dennis Miller was in the audience of the most recent Springsteen tribute show, so I knew it would hit him where it hurts.  Of course, I got no response.  Even if Al Franken (as big a Deadhead as there ever was) says on Miller’s Wikipedia page that his views have always been conservative, I don’t know how a guy who told those jokes in 1988 can go on Bill O’Reilly.

Plus, he called #14 “Foutsie” constantly during his time on Monday Night Football.

Not to be deterred, I sent a Tweet to the Chargers themselves after seeing someone get a response for posting a Karate Kid pic.  Yeah, Daniel’s wearing a Wes Chandler jersey, but anyone knows that.  So I sent along the photo you see below:

ChargersTweet

I responded that I assume I won the Fan of the Year award thirteen years ago for some reason.  Anyway, enough with all the tangential shit.  I haven’t really talked about Malcom Floyd coming back because I’m not even sure it’s the right move for him, let alone the Chargers.  He’s been pretty brittle his whole career.  I still think if he hadn’t gone down for the season in 2006, we might have pulled off a comeback on 1/14/07.  As I’m sure you sadly recall, Gates could get away from Asante Samuel when we needed him most.  But Floyd seems like a pretty reasonable guy and if Tedy Bruschi can continue to play football with a whole in his heart, then I guess Floyd might be okay.  I’m most interested to see what the offense looks like under Frank Reich.  One one hand, it’s great to hear that he’s going to unleash Philip Rivers and all.  But let’s not forget what happens when the Bolorific One gets too giddy.  There still needs to be some balance (to quote Mr. Miyagi) for Philip.  That doesn’t mean we should continue to run unsuccessfully as we are falling behind, as we did in our last playoff game.

It will be really interesting to see how the offensive backfield shakes out.  I posted this article on Twitter, but have to agree with JoJo Tarantino’s comment that a 5th round draft pick (even one who won an ESPY for his miracle Iron Bowl touchdown return) probably won’t be the deciding factor on whether Mathews gets a new deal.  By all accounts, Mathews seems to understand the importance of staying healthy this season.  But as the linked article also mentions, he usually says all the right things in the offseason.  Except for the car accident, most of his injuries don’t seem to have been preventable.

Speaking of running backs, I recently thought about LT and not because he put his San Diego house on the market.  When LeBron returned to Cleveland, I wondered if I could ever forgive one of our own like that.  The only scenario I can imagine that might be comparable would be if LaDainian left San Diego after 2004 or so and went to New England.  Then, after winning a ring or two, he came back to San Diego but was still in the prime of his career.  I know it wouldn’t be the same thing since LeBron led Cleveland to the finals before he left and LT would have to return to San Diego by 2006 to be at his peak.  Nonetheless, you get my point.  I don’t know how I would feel in that scenario.  I sold my autographed ball when he went to the Jets, even though it was the Chargers that let him go.  It would have been too painful to have it around while he played for another team.  I said at the time (in case you don’t remember) that I would cut the thing open, shit in it, and post a video of it had LT won a ring elsewhere.  Even though he never did and came back to the Bolts to retire, I don’t regret selling it.

I guess if he HAD won a ring on another team and I thought he could bring one to the Chargers, I would welcome him back.  As you recall, I did anyway.

That’s all for now.  With camp opening up this week, the offseason is quickly coming to a close.  I have finally finished my novel, Drunk On Sunday.  I will continue to see if I can find someone to represent it.  If not, it will get out there the same way this site always has.  Of course, self-publishing a book is a little more pricey than a blog.  I hope I can count on The Legion Of The Lightning Bolt to buy a copy or to.

This installment of JUSTICE is dedicated to Johnny Winter and James Garner.  Even if the former is a Raider fan, he was a hell of an actor.  Oakland native Carlos Santana has always rooted for them and I’ve been able to block that out all these years.  Anyway, Rest In Peace, you two.

Yours In Justice,

RLW

About Ross Warner

ROSS WARNER is a forty-three year old freelancer whose credits include Sports Illustrated OnLine and Blitz as well as numerous articles on his favorite band, the Grateful Dead. Blah, Blah, Blah. Yeah, I was on WNEW FM the morning after the Chargers made the Super Bowl. Having returned from Pittsburgh only hours before, there I was at half-court at Madison Square Garden in my #12 jersey and wiping my sweat with a "Terrible Towel." When asked about the future for the newly-crowned AFC Champs, I simply uttered "justice is coming." Like so many others, I first took notice of the Chargers during the "Air Coryell" period of the late 1970s. But as Dan Fouts gave way to Ed Luther, Mark Hermann, Babe Laufenberg, Jim McMahon, David Archer, Mark Vlasic, Billy Joe Tolliver and John Freisz my fanaticism turned to obsession. When Stan Humphries resurrected the franchise in 1992, I began calling the Chargers organization to share my plan to get the team into the Super Bowl. This began the stormy rapport with the Chargers' Public Relations staff which reached a boiling point at a 1996 "team spirit" luncheon when I demanded that guard Eric Moten explain his propensity for holding penalties. It was then I realized I needed my own forum. Founded in 1995, Justice Is Coming is precisely that. To decide whether this site is for you, ask yourself these questions: Do you think of Johnny Unitas as an ex-Charger? Are your three children named JJ, Kellen and Wes, with one of them being a girl? Do you think that Rolf Benirschke got a raw deal on the daytime "Wheel of Fortune?" Can you remember where you were on December 3, 1984 when Bobby Duckworth fumbled the ball attempting to spike it on "Monday Night Football?" Does Al Davis, a dark alley and a lead pipe mean anything to you? If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, then you, too, believe that Justice Is Coming. This is a weekly look at the San Diego Chargers through the eyes of someone who spends most of his time thinking about the Bolts so you don't have to. But being a Chargers fan is not an obligation, although it sometimes feels like it. So I offer you this "alternative perspective." All the football, film and music collides in the centrifuge that is my brain and this newsletter is the result.

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